DIVORCE ADULTERY AND GOD
In John MacArthur’s
book “The Divorce Dilemma” he
wrote there are four dominant views
about divorce.
1. Secular society (and sadly, even many professing Christians) would allow divorce and remarriage anytime, for anybody, for anything.
Some
(bible commentators and theologians)
are generally divided amoung the next three view.
2. Some would insist that, biblically, there is to be no divorce at all for anybody, not for any reason, or under any circumstances.
3. Others teach that divorce under certain circumstances is permissible but no remarriage is allowed…ever…at any time, for anybody, for any reason.
4. Others say that, biblically, both divorce and remarriage are possible, but only under certain circumstances.
Which of these options is truly biblical?
I hope to do my best to answer that this morning. Understand as John MacArthur also went to say that “When two people are bound together in marriage the problems of human nature are multiplied…..marriage involves conflicts, demands, hardships, sacrifices, and adjustments that singleness does not.”
As we approach this portion of Jesus’ sermon, I, myself, approach this sermon with a heavy heart that needs to use delicate hands. This is something I’m not very good at! Considering I’m usually like a bull moose in a China Shop. This passage scares me to death because I know there are a, thousand voices, a thousand reasons, and thousand ideas when it comes to the matter of divorce.
And I find that is the
biggest problem when it comes the
topic of divorce and remarriage.
So, I want us to approach this text using these guidelines.
1. Put
aside any and every preconceived ideas and theories you have on issue of
divorce and remarriage.
2. Put
aside every book you’ve read or podcast you have listened too, as we approach
this portion of Jesus’ sermon.
3. Put
aside every sermon, every Christian counselor’s comments on this issue.
4. Put
aside everything and lets come to the mountain, and listen, to what Jesus said,
not what Mike said or what you think it says.
5. Put
aside your own personal experiences and feelings toward the issue of divorce
and remarriage.
6.I
say again, “Put aside everything”
Let’s use the Hermeneutical principle of the Gold Rule when it comes to interpreting Scripture. “If the plain sense makes common sense, seek no other sense.”
What is Jesus saying here?
The quick and easy answer is this! Our wrong ideas and preconceived notions are wrong; good intention as they may seem to be at the time. If what Jesus said didn’t already shock you, it doesn’t get any better from here on out. Jesus quotes the Mosaic Law; and according to Jesus,this Law was being misused and explained. What does the Law state? In Deut 24:1-4 we read this "When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance.”
The confusion, or the key word that causes this discussion and debate over divorce is the word “indecency” But before we get to that word “indecency” understand that the word “adultery” is not mentioned in the matter of divorce. Why? Because anyone found guilty of adultery was put to death, so it never needed to be mentioned. So adultery would bring about death… which means it would bring about an end to the marriage, not by divorce, but by death. The word “indecency” means “nakedness of a thing” That would encompass ever kind of improper, shameful or indecent behavior, unbecoming to a woman and embarrassing her husband. It cannot refer to adultery because that is dealt with back in Lev 20:10 “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.”
The “indecency” that is in reference here are grounds for divorce and that was the sin of unfaithfulness or promiscuity that stops short of adultery. This was to reveal the potential danger of what would happen if one continue down this path……Death! Because of adultery. This Law given by Moses was not to give excuse for divorce but to show the potential evil of it.
This was to prevent more than
to provide
a way out of the marriage.
We need to clearly understand that divorce is a product of sin, and God hates it. God never commands it, endorses it, o blesses it in the Old Testament.
Why would I say that?
Have you read the book of the prophet Hosea? This letter is a beautiful picture of God’s forgiving and patient love, for rebellious Israel. Gomer his wife was a prostitute and did this while they were married. But Hosea was faithful and forgiving. Can you imagine how he must of felt or been going through; yet he did not divorce her. What helped him to prevent that from happening? His close walk with the Lord.
Marriage is not the key to happiness, God is.
A right relationship with God despite how the marriage may seem; God is faithful to see us through. For Hosea that was true. “Then the LORD said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the LORD for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans." So I bought her for myself for fifteen shekels of silver, and one and one-half homers of barley. And I said to her, "You shall stay with me many days; you shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man—so, too, will I be toward you." Hosea 3:1-3
This Law given by Moses was not to give excuse for divorce but to show the potential evil of it. Unfortunately! The Pharisee’s liberal take on this law brought about wrong practices and outcomes to divorce over the smallest of things. If they found something distasteful about your wife, go ahead and divorce her.
Examples....
Getting
in for the wrong reasons
Lack
of individual identity
Becoming
lost in the roles
Not
having a shared vision of success
The
intimacy disappears
Unmet
expectations
Finances
Different
urgencies and interests
Inability
to resolve conflicts
You
burnt my toast
You
gained weight
You
don’t have my meal ready on time
We think that is crazy and comical! But this is happening even in Christian circles or churches. As an acceptable behavior, and viable reasons for divorce.
Rachel Hollis, author of ‘Girl, Wash Your Face’, posted this on their Instagram. “Guys, I have some hard news to share and the honest truth is, I have no idea how someone announces something like this, so I’m just going to say it. Dave and I have made the incredibly difficult decision to end our marriage. We started out as best friends 18 years ago and the truth is, that core friendship and the parts of us that work so well, have become a band-aid for the parts of us that don’t. We have worked endlessly over the last three years to make this work and have come to the conclusion that it is healthier and more respectful for us to choose this as the end of our journey as a married couple. We remain dear friends as we raise our family as co-parents and run our company as partners. We are choosing joy—even though, I’ll be honest, the last month has been one of the most awful of our lives. I want to be strong and bold and optimistic for you now, but every ounce of my energy is reserved in being those things for my children. This is a decision we have wrestled for years and made with so much counsel, thought and prayer… keeping love for each other and our kids as the ultimate and only goal.”
Joshua
Harris, writer of “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” announced
their separation on Instagram.
“We're writing to share the news that we are separating and will continue our
life together as friends. In recent years, some significant changes have taken
place in both of us. It is with sincere love for one another and understanding
of our unique story as a couple that we are moving forward with this decision.
We hope to create a generous and supportive future for each other and for our
three amazing children in the years ahead. Thank you for your understanding and
for respecting our privacy during a difficult time.”
It’s as wrong view in what Jesus is saying here! And unfortunately many good intentional Christian fall for this. And just like the Pharisees, the paper work of the certificate was more important to them, despite the fact they were wrong in practicing of this Law. And this displeased the LORD as it did with the Priests in the Old Testament. “Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously with one another By profaning the covenant of the fathers? Judah has dealt treacherously, And an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, For Judah has profaned The LORD's holy institution which He loves: He has married the daughter of a foreign god. May the LORD cut off from the tents of Jacob the man who does this, being awake and aware, Yet who brings an offering to the LORD of hosts! And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. "For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the LORD of hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously." You have wearied the LORD with your words; "Yet you say, "In what way have we wearied Him?" In that you say, "Everyone who does evil Is good in the sight of the LORD, And He delights in them," Or, "Where is the God of justice?" Mal 2:10-17
Why were they doing this?
Why did they disregard God’s
covenant union of marriage?
We read in Matthew 19:7-9 why they did this. “They said to Him, "Why
then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her
away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And
I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and
marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced
commits adultery."
This is why Jesus goes in this order, before He mentioned the issue of divorce. “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matt 5:27-28. The issue begins in the heart long before we are guilty of the act.
So what is Jesus saying here?
Are there exceptions for biblical divorce?
Yes ….and here is the exception according to His message. Solely on the grounds of adultery, sexual infidelity is the only legal basis Christ gave for divorce. “Unchastity” this is the worst case scenario in which divorce would be granted. This is what the bible calls “fornication” the same word used for “porneia,” where we get the English word for “pornography”. It’s a noun which means “Unchastity, prostitution, fornication, immorality.” This was a general term for fornication; but it also had the same implications to various kinds of lascivious or immoral behavior. Such as incest, blood relatives or children, prostitution, homosexuality. This also addressed the moral flaw in one’s character (obsession with pornography, even to the act of bestiality or even worse.)
Remember what I said last week? The Hebrew writer wrote “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled (polluted by acts of formication), for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Heb 13:4 . The biggest threat is our own waywardness, our own wandering, our own hard heartedness, and our own love affair with sin.” What Jesus is saying here is that we are to take this as serious sin, which involves deliberate infidelity.
Please hear my heart for a minute. Consider everything in light of God’s Word! What is the Bible’s number desire as it pertains to image-bearers of God? To be in proper, joy-filled, fellowship with our Creator. We broke that covenant and the only way for us to be brought back is by His grace through the gospel, seeking Him for forgiveness. Ultimately this should be our desire with each other despite the sins committed against one another.
This is how we are to approach sinners with the end desire of restoration. Now I’m not foolish and ignorant to say that works or has worked in every falling apart marriage to be restored. Some have and were so bad, there seems to be no way of recovery at all.
But is that God’s fault or ours?
Are we so quick to give up
and say” I’m glad that’s over”
or are we to be seeking God for perseverance and restoration?
I say this! Because the Gospel reconciled our rebellious and adulterous hearts back into His arms. God’s way and plans are greater than ours; and unfortunately we respond to scenes like this with anger and injustice. This is terrible for anyone to go through, but this was never meant to be the easy way out and throw everything away.
How fast are we to write each other off, to get that certificate of divorce and never consider the outcome, the damage and baggage it comes with?
This was not God’s intent or blessing! It was to warn us of the pending doom if you continue down that road. The only result of divorce according to Jesus is that it provides a clear conscience for the injured or wounded partner, so that they would be free to remarry without guilt or stigma.
I want to make the case for four biblical reasons
why divorce was never God’s intention.
1. God Created Them From The Beginning.
“Then
God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let
them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and
over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps
on the earth." So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created
them.” Gen 1:26-27
God didn’t create a group of males and group of females who could pick and choose who they wanted. There were no alternatives for Adam if the first wife didn’t work or vise-versa. One man for one woman and one woman for one man. For this very obvious reason.. divorce and remarriage were not options in the divine purposes of God for marriage. As Jesus said “and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH' ? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matt 19:5-6
2. God Created Them To Be Joined Together.
In Matt 19:5 we read “and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'?”
“to be joined” refers to a strong bond or being bonded together. Basically taking a man and woman and gluing them together. In Genesis we read “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." Gen 2:21-23. This bond is a deep inter-personal relationship that two people have in the covenant union of marriage
Marriage binds two hearts together.
This same understanding of “joined together” is used by Job to describe his present health. “My bone clings to my skin and to my flesh,” Job 19:20. It’s used to describe the faithful men who stood with David as others left him. “But the men of Judah, from the Jordan as far as Jerusalem, remained loyal to their king.” 2 Sam 20:2
3. God Created Them To Be One Flesh.
Paul wrote, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
1 Cor 7:3-4
They are inseparable with the exception of death. So one flesh that have a child born to them are perfect demonstrations of their oneness. Two separate people into one flesh, carry the combined traits of both parents. See the act of adultery shatters the marriage, it shatters the holy union. And as Malachi wrote about the Nation; this breaks the heart of God. Mal 2:14
A spouse is a spouse by
covenant of God’s divine grace
and blessing in marriage.
4. Every Marriage Is Made In Heaven.
What Jesus gave for divorce was not what God designed marriage, because every marriage is created in Heaven. Whether it’s between a Christian, to an Atheist, whether it’s an arranged marriage or mutual desire. They are all the handiwork of God. As John MacArthur said in his book “Whether it is entered into wisely or foolishly, sincerely o insincerely, selfishly or unselfishly, with great or little commitment, God’s design for every marriage is that it be permanent until death of one of the spouses.”
The union of marriage is described as the grace of life. “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7. To destroy a marriage is to destroy a creation of Almighty God. Jesus said “Let no man separate what God has put together.” Matt 19:6
Jesus gave one exception for divorce; but we know, it’s God’s desire that we preserver and seek forgiveness and restoration first. Why? Divorce it shatters lives into a million pieces, I know from firsthand experience. I’ve watched and held my mother’s hand as she cries and wonders what she did wrong, and now what we do with our lives. I’ve watched her get angry and speak ill about my father, by expressing the pain that she has gone through. I know it destroys relationships; because there was a time I hated my dad for what he did. And it took a long time to look him in the face. But that only comes by God’s grace being extending to my life, because He loved me when I hated Him.
Divorce brings about…
Confusion
Resentment
Hatred
Bitterness
Despair
Conflict
Murder
Hardship
Suicide
Picking
sides
Family
dysfunction
See! God gave us the blessing of marriage as a gift to demonstrate for us the beauty and union of the Godhead. Marriage is also something God had planned before the foundation of the world. As Paul said “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love,” Eph 1:4
Your salvation and the day a man and a woman become one flesh, was not an afterthought by God, but a planned day for your joy and His glory. Marriage is a blessing and wonderful union between a man and a woman. Marriage is a blessing that God ordained when He created the first man. Is it perfect? No, but we are to be very careful in how come to the conclusion when it comes to divorce. And we are not to throw each other
into the waste basket so quickly and give up.
Regardless
of your thoughts on remarriage and you’re past. Christ
died for your sin and we find healing grace in His wounds for our
transgressions. (READ ART AZURDIA LETTER)
Does this mean you did it wrong?
Only you can answer that question. But ask yourself this….
What does the Word of God say?
But also understand what does the Word of God say about the forgiveness of our sins? He went to the cross to pay the penalty that every one of us owes, because we have all committed infidelity on the Groom. How do we know that!? Someone took your place to become a curse for you and me. As Paul said “Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, "CURSED IS EVERYONE WHO HANGS ON A TREE"),” Gal 3:13
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