BE A WITNESS OF GRACE PART SIX

Eph 4:25-32

I would like us to look at a simple, but complex word this morning as we close out this chapter of Paul’s letter. It’s a word that many people don’t like to give or ask for! It’s the word “Forgiveness” The word “forgiveness” is used 143 times in the New Testament It’s legal term means “to release” a person from an obligation. In finance it gives the idea of “cancelling a debt” In the spiritual we read this in Matthew’s gospel where Jesus said these words……“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matt 6:14-15 

This passage is pretty clear! There are some passages that are sometimes hard to understand. But this isn’t one of them. What Jesus is saying is what Jesus means. Notice the conditions of forgiveness in this passage? You forgive, you get forgiveness. You don’t forgive, you don’t get forgiveness. See, forgiveness is an act of the will….it’s a chose you must make. You can chose to do what is right or you can chose to do what is wrong. But be prepared for the consequences that follow when you chose not to. R C Sproul said “We tend to be far more ungenerous in forgiving others than God is in forgiving us. If God were to be as reluctant to forgive as we are in forgiving those who sin against us, we would be in serious trouble. As Christians we are to forgive. We are called likewise called to be forgiving people.” An unwillingness to forgive clearly has no place in the Kingdom, and may in fact indicate that such a person has not experienced the gospel themselves for the forgiveness of their sins and trespasses. See! Unforgiveness usually leads to bitterness and resentment as we see here in Paul’s letter at the beginning of (v31)

Bitterness…..reflects a smoldering resentment, a grudge filled attitude.

Wrath…..this is wild rage, uncontrolled fury in the moment.

Anger……is more an internal smoldering with deep roots for storing bitterness.

Clamor……a shout or outcry of discord that reflects and reveals a loss of control.

Slander……is where we get the word blasphemy, an insult towards someone that rises from a bitter heart.

Malice…..is a general term for “evil” that is the root of all depravities.

Paul says “put away from you” (v31) put all these things as far away from you because you have been adopted and redeemed and sealed for the day of redemption though the gospel. Unforgiveness only leads a person down a path of heartache and pain that has no eternal value or worth… They want others to feel their pain; because it’s unfair, and it seems that there getting away with murder. They tend to hold on to all the hurts and pains that they received over the years and store it in the attic. What’s sad about this, it doesn’t help matters or solve your legitimate heartache; all it does is eats away at your spiritual life until there is nothing left. When you carry around the roots described in (v31) all it does is kill the body and soul. It’s like cancer that spreads throughout the body until it consumes every part of that body. Forgiveness has both divine and human dimensions. In the divine relationship, it is, first of all, the gracious act of God by which believers are put into a right relationship with God and transferred from spiritual death to spiritual life through the sacrifice in the person of Jesus Christ. “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.” Rom 5:8-10. Forgiveness is an act and attitude toward those who have wronged you; for the purpose of restoring relationships and fellowship through the gospel confession.

This leads a person to ask! 

How far should I forgive?

Is there anything that is unforgivable?

Is there a limit to my forgiveness?

  

The answer to those questions is found in the conversation that Peter had with Jesus. “Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matt 18:21-22. What was Jesus saying? That no matter how many times he or she sins and repents, Christ meant that forgiveness should be granted unendingly. Paul is saying the same thing at the end of this chapter! “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”(v32)

So what does that look like today?

Corrie Ten Boom told this story! “It was 1947, and I’d come from Holland to defeated Germany with the message that God forgives. There is a man staring back at me, not quite daring to believe. And that’s when I saw him, working his way forward against the others. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a cap with skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush—the huge room with its harsh overhead lights, the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor, the shame of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were! That place was Ravensbruck, and the man who was making his way forward had been a guard—one of the most cruel guards.

Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: "A fine message, Fraulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!" And I, who had spoken so persuasively of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course—how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women? But I remembered him. I was face-to-face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze. "You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk," he was saying. "I was a guard there." No, he did not remember me. "But since that time," he went on, "I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fraulein,"—again the hand came out—"will you forgive me?"

Corrie says “And I stood there—I whose sins had again and again been forgiven—and could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place. Could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking? It could have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do. For I had to do it—I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. "If you do not forgive men their trespasses," Jesus says, "neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses." And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart.

But forgiveness is not an emotion—I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. "Jesus, help me!" I prayed silently. "I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling." And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust out my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.

"I forgive you, brother!" I cried. "With all my heart!" For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then. But even then, I realized it was not my love. I had tried, and did not have the power. It was the power of the Holy Spirit.” [Holocaust Victim Forgives Captor, Citation: Corrie Ten Boom, Tramp for the Lord (Berkley, 1978), pp. 53-55]

Do you think Corrie was asking the same thing David asked?

“teach me wisdom in the secret heart.” Psalm 51:6

To forgive this man, especially after Corrie, telling others we can find forgiveness in Christ alone? How is that possible? In order to answer that we need to go back to the beginning of this letter that Paul wrote to the church. Human forgiveness reflects our experience and understanding of divine forgiveness found in our gospel confession. People who are forgiven by God become increasingly forgiving people. When you release others through forgiveness, God can free you from the weight and captivity of Unforgiveness. As the love of Christ penetrates your heart more deeply and genuinely you become more forgiving, because you recognize your imperfections. We, you and I, ought to be the most forgiving people in the work place, the home, school, in the community, and on the planet. Again as Paul says here in (v32) “as God in Christ forgave you.”

When your name is being mentioned in a conversation, your co-workers or friends should be able to say…. “He or she is person that never holds grudges or finds fault; they never make people pay and they never keep score….they are very forgiving people” People may not understand why you forgive, but it should provoke them in asking you why you are so forgiving? And that gives you an opportunity to explain why you’re able to forgive. It’s all because of the gospel confession as you become in that moment witnesses of grace to a person who knows nothing of God’s grace. Forgiveness is hard to do! But God can free us from the weight of unforgiveness through the Cross of Christ. Forgiveness over small noticeable things is so much easier. 

For Example 

You took my parking spot at the mall or the grocery store.

You hate my non-sugar added puddings again.

You broke my favorite Barbie or destroyed my Lego tower.

You spilt coffee or your ice cap in my truck.

You ruined my favorite dress or pair of jeans.

You scratched my car with your bike.

You broke my dishes or you hit a baseball through our front window.

You spilt milk all over the table or pop on the carpet.

What Makes forgiveness possible? When we’re displaying a life that is kind and tender-hearted to one another through the Spirit’s leading and guiding, caused by the gospel. But it begins here in the family of God, and then it goes out and permeates into the community. (v32) Unconditional Kindness……..characterizes the Lord who is merciful towards sinners like you and me. And it’s the gospel you want to reflect to others as a witness of grace. In Luke 6:35b we read this “for He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” So we are to do the same! Where does it say that? The verses that go before and after “He is kind”. Jesus said “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:35-36. We are to be like our Heavenly Father as “God in Christ forgave you.” (v32)

Unconditional Tenderheartedness……..has the idea of being compassionate, it reflects the depth of your soul or stomach (it’s not indigestion), but a deep rooted feeling of tenderness that is soft and sensitive to others because of the gospel that has transformed your heart. John MacArthur calls this “a gnawing psychosomatic pain due to empathy for someone’s need.” What John is saying and what Paul is saying is “forgiving each other is so basic to reflecting Christ like character, that it needs little comment.” 

One of the most graphic illustrations of this is found in Matt 18:21-35 (turn in your bibles to this passage) This story starts with a question by Peter! (v21) This is a picture of salvation that God forgives the sinner the unpayable debt he owes. (v23-v27) What does the forgiven man do to a fellow friend or neighbor? (v28-v30) What is God’s response to this unforgiving act by a person who was cleared of his debt moments ago? (v31-v35). Paul has the same relationship in mind as he calls the family of God to forgive as God has forgiven you in Christ Jesus. We of all people should be eager to forgive others despite the level or the circumstances that lead to the situation. As one theologian said "He who cannot forgive others destroys the bridge over which he himself must pass." 

The forgiveness that is demonstrated through kindness and tenderheartedness is exemplified this way…

To forgive is to turn the key, open the cell door, and let the prisoner walk free. 

To forgive is to write in large letters, across a debt, “nothing owed”. 

To forgive is to pound the gavel in a courtroom and declare, “Not Guilty!” 

To forgive is to bundle up all the garbage and trash and dispose of it, leaving the house clean and fresh. 

To forgive is to loosen the moorings of a ship and release it to the open sea.

To forgive is to grant a full pardon to a condemned criminal.

To forgive is to smash a clay pot into a thousand pieces so it can never be pieced together again.

We must always embrace the truth of seeking to forgive and the same rule applies to seeking forgiveness. As Charles Swindoll said “Live long enough, and you will understand the difficulty of offering forgiveness when you have been wronged. It does not come easy, yet as believers, we have to recognize that our ability and willingness to offer it are the result of Christ’s saving work on the cross. Because of that fact, forgiveness serves as a determining factor in who we say we are and how we hope to live our lives. When we do not forgive, bitterness takes root in our hearts and chokes the vitality out of us.” Live your life to exemplify the gospel confession that so abundantly saved your wretched souls from Hell. Be the hands and feet of Christ to your church family and take that outside to a world that is lost and hostile to the things of God.

Why? “As God in Christ forgave you.” That’s why!