25 May 2010

Spirituality vs. Jesus

I was reading this at http://www.theblazingcenter.com/  Written by Stephen Altrogge, a really good reminder and truth....especially in a society that tells us that we are all gods and you need to look within ourselves to find it! Thanks Stephen for posting this! Awesome.....and great reminder why Jesus is my life............. my all.
  • Spirituality invites you to explore your inner self. Jesus invites you to explore his glory and forget yourself.
  • Spirituality invites you to find yourself. Jesus invites you to lose yourself.
  • Spirituality is a journey that ultimately results in you “saving” yourself. Following Jesus is a journey that begins when you stop trying to save yourself.
  • Spirituality leads to self-expression which results in self-fulfillment. Jesus calls you to die to yourself and find your fulfillment in him.
  • Spirituality begins when you resolve to “try harder”. Following Jesus begins when you give up.
  • Spirituality says you’re worth it. Jesus says that he’s worth it.
  • Spirituality allows you to take charge of your life. Jesus commands you to acknowledge him as King of your life.
  • Spiritual gurus dispense “wisdom”.

 Jesus saves sinners.

18 May 2010

A Word of Comfort

A Word of Comfort
1 Thess 4:13-18

Paul is one of the greatest comforter's ever to live! I say that, because he is so straight forward and he cares deeply about the family of God. His spiritual children.....The apostle Paul is a great example for each and every one us...especially when it come to the issue of what we are going to look at today!! What happens when a Christian dies?  A topic that the apostle Paul, knew all to well! Since he faced it himself, on a daily basic....This topic in this young vibrant church, was causing many to have misunderstanding to the issue of life after death!! Do you realize that there is a 100% chance that you will die at some point in this life? There is approximately 150 000 people who die each and every day around the globe!!! Death is a very serious matter for every one of us. Why? Because we all are going to face it at some time point in our life. This was the problem with this early church.......they thought the time was coming (the Rapture was going to happen in their life). They were concerned for those who passed on before this extraordinary event took place! They were also confused by some who were teaching something contrary to what Paul told them about! (Turn over to 2 Thess 2:1-7 to see for yourself)........This also was happening even in Peter’s ministry!! “They will say, "Where is the promise of his coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all things are continuing as they were from the beginning of creation." 2 Peter 3:4. Look what Paul says “I do not want you to be ignorant (uniformed about spiritual realities, your lack of information) brethren” (v13) What are we in fear of being ignorant of Paul? “Those who have fallen asleep”. The word "Asleep" (refers to) believers who had died or past on...basically.......those who are dead! Stephenrst martyr is a prime example of this kind of language.....“And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." And when he had said this, he fell asleep.” Act 7:60. IT’S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER: In the New Testament “sleep” applies ONLY to the body.....never the soul or spirit. We have still today........ many good intentional people who think that the body goes into some state of soul sleep! Soul Sleep is a false teaching! They teach that souls of the dead are in a state of unconscious existence in the afterlife!! But that’s NOT TRUE! Why? The Bible says so............. 2Cor 5:8 “We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.” Phil1:22-23 “But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better.” The greatest of evidence that makes this a false teaching is found in Luke, listen to what Jesus said to the thief on the cross “And Jesus said to him, "Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise." Luke 23:43
• Moses and Elijah souls were not sleeping when they appeared with Jesus on the Mount of transfiguration in Matthew 17:3
• David spoke of the bliss of being in God’s presence after death in Psalm 16:10-11
• Elijah was taken up into Heaven 2 Kings 2:1
• Jesus even said He went to the Father the day He died Luke 23:46
• Even the unsaved know there is no such thing as soul sleeping Luke 16:19-31 the Rich man and Lazarus

Paul says don’t be misinformed to what happen to a person after they die. He even goes on to say don’t grieve over or worry for those who have died. Look in (v13) “don’t grieve” as others who have no hope! The unsaved world.....Paul is not saying! We don’t sorrow over lost loved ones in the family of God! Paul knows death causes painful separation, loneliness, grief, brokenness, anger and confusion, sorrow. The Bible said that Jesus grieved over the death of Lazarus in John 11:33-35. Paul, himself said “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” (Rom 12:5) What Paul is saying is don’t grieve as the unsaved world grieves!!! Without hope! What is that Hope that they are missing!! The Lord Jesus Christ....for without Him we have no hope after death! It’s that uncontrollable hopelessness that person has because they are never coming back! WATCH THE NEWS and see for yourself! The wailing and uncontrollable emotions of the unsaved world because they are without hope!!. If you don’t believe me! Go to a funeral of a saved person and then of an unsaved person! Compare the two and watch the people around you and see how they deal with death. Paul was reminding them when he said "don’t grieve" as though you never had any hope!! Remember what I told you!! Look at (verse 14-15). We have the evidence of our Lord Jesus Christ who came and died a sinner’s death and rose again on the 3rd day!!! 2Cor 5:21 “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” Jesus died a literal death and He defeated the grave so that we could have a living hope in a living Saviour!!! Can I tell you something.................We serve a living God......who is our living hope because “by whose stripes you were healed.” 1 Peter 2:24. Jesus Christ rose again, So! Those who have died (fallen asleep) will not miss the Rapture. Why? Look what Paul says at the end of (verse 15) “They will by no means precede those who are asleep”. Precede means: “anticipate or prevent” Those who die before the Rapture will in no sense be inferior to those who are alive. All Christians will participate in the Rapture so don’t grieve and have doubt to the Lord’s return for those who have died before us.... Trust in the words of our Lord because He is the One who gave them to me...His words are honest and trustworthy. Trust me! When that day arrives we will know!! Look at (verse 16-17).....Jesus is the One who will call us to Himself......”the Lord Himself”

• Can you imagine for a minute what that will be like on that day!
• God’s divine appointment with His children who are in Christ
• How? The Bible says “with a “shout of an arc angel”


1. The resurrection of Lazarus “Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come forth!" John 11:443

2. The Cross “And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" Matt 27:46.......Mathew’s Gospel even went on to say “And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. Then, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth quaked, and the rocks were split, and the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; Matt 27:50-52......The power of almighty God spoke with authority and even the dead rose on that day!! The same power we see here....which would make this the 3rd occasion Jesus spoke with a loud voice

3. Jesus calls us home with the sound of an archangel! It’s the quality of His voice, as a commander, as a chief; the voice of authority, majestic....the power of almighty God. What will it sound like? “The sounds of a trumpet”...His voice will be like a trumpet! John on the island of Patmos speaks of this...... Rev 1:10-11“I was in the Spirit on the Lord's Day, and I heard behind me a loud voice, as of a trumpet, Who was that voice? The Lord Jesus, Himself......saying "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last," ...... Jesus will speak with a loud audible voice as if the sound of a loud trumpet to call His chosen people to Himself....those who are in Christ. We call this the RAPTURE of believers
Rapture (means) "to be caught up, a gathering together". Jesus promises the dead in Christ first will be raised first (verse 16). Jesus say then the ones who are alive will be caught up with them in the air (verse 17).  The point where our glorified bodies will join our glorified spirits which makes them into the image of Christ! The apostle John said “We know that when he appears, we will be like Him......” 1 John 3:2. So trust in the promises of God remember what Jesus said "Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.” John 14:1-3. MY SUNDAY QUESTION IS: Are you excited for that day? Does your heart anticipate the Lord’s imminent return...... to claim what is rightfully His? If not! Get close to someone who is!!! Find comfort in a brother or sister who patiently waits with joy in their heart for the Lord to call us home. Whether it is by life or death! We will be together one day!! Paul says comfort one another with these truths of God not man!!! (Verse 18). Don’t worry or grieve of those who have died in Christ........ nothing can separate us with is in Christ Jesus our Lord......I love this quote! It brings comfort and rest "It is not darkness you are going to, for God is Light. It is not lonely, for Christ is with you. It is not unknown country, for Christ is there." Charles Kingsley. Spugeon said "When the time comes for you to die, you need not be afraid, because death cannot separate you from God's love." Tattoo this verse on your forehead!!! “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Rom 8:38-39. Comfort one another with these words of truth! Rest with ease knowing that God has everything taken care of for those who love him and those who anticipate His imminent return to claim what’s His........YOU!!

17 May 2010

Testimony of God's Grace By Zac Smith's

Chance vs. God: The Battle of First Causes

Why Not Me?

WHY NOT ME AND YOU?                        
1 Thess 3:1-10

Do you ever sit down and ponder the question why me LORD? Why Lord! Do you allow so much pain and suffering in your children around the world. Why Lord! Do you allow me to go through despair from time to time? Why Lord! Do you put me through such pain and anguish with the people around me? Why Lord! Why?............You know! There is no easy answer to anyone of those questions. Except! Why not me? The Apostle is a great example of suffering and trials. Paul knew that trials and tribulations where part in parcel to the Christian life. The Apostle Paul knew that there was no escaping this! Why? Because Jesus said "....... I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” Matt 10:16.....Jesus also said “Remember the word that I said to you, 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you......” John 15:20. Paul here in this letter (1st Thessalonians 3:1-10) has a concern and love for the believers in this faithful church (a concern for his spiritual children). Look what it says in (verse 1) “we could no longer endure it” Which literally means “I could no longer tolerate, I’m unable to continue in ignorance of how my precious converts are surviving" Which makes you ask the question..........What couldn’t you endure (tolerate anymore) Paul? Answer: Paul was very concerned for their faith and their spiritual walk! They were under heavy persecution and animosity towards Biblical Christianity (the Gospel). They were going through things we could never understand as a local church here in Canada. They were being ostracized from family, friends, and communities. This was a great concern for Paul because he couldn’t be with them for purposes of his own (1 Thess 2:18). Not only did Satan hinder Paul from coming to them.....but he also knew Satan was the Tempter (trying and testing for the purpose of causing failure!) verse 5. Paul wasn’t ignorant to Satan and his crafty methods! See for Paul to be away from his spiritual children was very unsettling (worry, disturbing, troubling) for him! It’s like: When you toss and turn all night long in bed because it’s too hot to sleep. When someone is anger at you and you want to resolve the situation and their not willing. When you worrying about that important job interview in the morning to provide for your family. When you have to take that all important 3 hour exam for school to get your grade average up. When a loved one is suffering and there is nothing you can do about it! Because you are too far away to be with them! Paul feared the worst about their faith....Paul feared that they would swap their loyalty to Christ for personal comfort! To avoid persecution. So what does Paul do? He sends Timothy! Let me ask you, why do you think Paul sent Timothy? Look what Paul says in (verse 2) Timothy was a brother: a strong spiritual brother who is saved by God’s grace; Timothy was a minister of God: a true called minister of the truth; Timothy was a fellow labour of the Gospel: a man dedicated to God and the Gospel.......You never send a baby to do a grown-ups job! Timothy was godly example and soldier of Christ and Paul had a great faith in Timothy to go comfort and encourage his spiritual children; Timothy was like a son to Paul. When Paul wrote his first letter to Timothy, he starts off by saying “To Timothy, a son in the faith”. Interesting to note: Only Timothy and Titus ever received this special expression from Paul, “True son” which is better translated “genuine faithful child” which emphasizes Paul’s role as spiritual father to Timothy. Paul trusted Timothy and he also knew he could handle himself if he fell into the hands of the adversary. Timothy you must go and establish and encourage my loved ones! Paul was not concerned for their: health, wealth, self esteem or your best life know! Paul was concerned for their spiritual well being.............during such hard and troubling times. See it’s so much easier to run and hide and blend in with the crowd, then to stand and face whatever comes your way! No one likes to be persecuted or face trials do they? NO! It’s not like we go out each and every day looking for persecution or troubles.....But we have to realize that is going to happen! Jesus said “fear not” Matt 10:28-33 “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. "Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.”
I ask the question again! Why does a holy and loving God, allow us to go through such trials and tribulations in and through our Christian life. The answer that keeps coming back to me is.........Why not me! Why not you! Think about: What right do I (what right do we have) to ask an all merciful, all gracious, all sovereign and all just God.....Why He allows things to go wrong in our lives? Why did You allow for me to lose my job of 25 years Lord. Why did You allow me to get hurt in that accident? Why did You allow for my house to burned down? Why do You allow children to be murdered? Why do You allow for churches to be burned and people killed for their faith? Why didn’t You stop 9/11 from happening Lord? Why do You allow my classmates to reticule me in school for being a Christian? Why do You allow people in my community to make fun of me all the time for being a Christian? Why do You allow people to hurt us? Why is my marriage in such a mess? Why? My child is dying of leukemia
Why? My dad is dying of cancer........Why did my unsaved mother die before making that choice to follow you Lord? And Why is so hard to be a Christian Lord? Something we always need to remember before we ask those kinds of question! He saved us from the death we all deserve; He saved us from wrath that is yet to come; He saved us in spite of our fleshly desires; He saved us by His grace. How? By putting His only Begotten Son on the cross in our place; He saved us from a eternity of torment and pain and suffering. See God allows these things to happen in our life for one reason and one reason only! So that He gets the glory in your suffering! Do you realize it’s a gift to suffer for Christ and the cross? Phil 1:29 “For to you it has been granted (approved, arranged, decided) on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake,”. Peter said “Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter. For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God?” 1 Peter 4:16-17. If this means we have to endure suffering here on earth! I’m willing to live with it. Why? Because He saved me from what I deserve........... the same judgement to “those who do not obey the gospel of God” The very ones that God allows to persecute you and me today! So I ask the question why not me Lord? Look at what Timothy would have said (or reminded) these believers in (verse 3-5) “no one should be shaken by these afflictions” Literally means: “do not lose heart, stay strong” Why? Because of what Paul said next “we are appointed to this” This is all part of God’s plan for His children. God wills that we face afflictions, trials, tribulations for His sake.....Why Me Lord? James said it the best! “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” James 1:2-3. Jesus even said to His disciples when He explained the parable to them about the 4 seeds that fell on the ground! “As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away.” Matt 13:20-21 I like what John Wesley said “Yet hath he not root in himself - No deep work of grace: no change in the ground of his heart. Nay, he has no deep conviction; and without this, good desires soon wither away. He is offended - He finds a thousand reasonable pretences for leaving so narrow and rugged a way.” When we are faced with trials and tribulation! It’s for the purpose of seeing your faith! Does it endure? A true believer will count the cost and follow by faith to whatever end; a true believer will continue; a true believer will persevere through whatever is put before him or her. That’s why Jesus says the one that falls on good ground will grow: Some hundred fold..........some sixty.......some thirty! The evidence of a true believer is that you will continue to grow! Are you growing this morning? Can you say “the Lord has always been transforming me into the image of the Son? Even in times of trials; even in times of success; even in times of silence; even in times of draught. God is always working and directing me closer to Him each and every day! Because this was Paul’s unsettling concern for these new believers.....But what do we see next! (Look at verse 6). Timothy delivered the news that would give Paul a sense of peace and joy in his heart..... News that brings composure....news that would remove all that unsettledness.That test is over! I can get some rest now! Knowing my children are OK! Paul found the highest sense of ministry joy (he’s highest fulfillment was) His spiritual children were walking and growing in the truth of God’s word even in times of trials and suffering.......... (verse 9). It like the same expression of gratitude the Psalmist had when he said “How can I repay the LORD for all His goodness to me” 116:12. I can attest to what Paul is saying! This should be every pastor’s heart around the world this morning! When I see people in the church loving the Lord more than life! I can say with Paul: My heart is filled with joy seeing you glorify Christ in your suffering. My soul feels blessed with your passion for one-another and the true Gospel you serve. My desires become your desires as we grow deeper in your relationship with Christ. My prayer life is stronger day and night because of your faithfulness to Christ and His church. I pray the same prayer that Paul does here in (verse 11-13). Nothing on this earth should encourage us more! To see brothers and sisters grow in His grace and His suffering. The Sunday question: Is your faith enduring today? Are you saying in your heart! Why not me Lord? We must stand fast (full of faith) in a world that hates and is going against everything we hold dear in the Christian life: Biblical Morality;
Biblical Education for our Children; keeping the family together according Biblical principles; the Freedom to pray and share the Gospel with others.....The only way we will ever increase is by staying close to Him and the help of one another in our trials and tribulations by the Power of His grace......As Matt Chandler said “your house may be built on the rock, but that doesn’t (exempt) that doesn’t mean the rains won’t come” So! Why Not Me......You?

15 May 2010

How to Lose a Child Before He is Five Years Old

The following is edited and adapted from a message preached by the late J. B. Buffington (1923-2009) at Calvary Baptist Church, Lakeland, Florida, in the early 1970s. Rearing a family ought to be a thing of joy. You ought to sit down at home and laugh about all the little things that happen. You ought to be happy. I can talk about teenagers because I have had four of them. My youngest daughter is 23 years old, so I know a little bit about teenagers. I’ve heard people say, “Everything went along alright until my children became teenagers and then something happened.” But I beg your pardon, that’s not the case. Most of it happened before five years old. That’s why I exhort mothers, “Don’t let anybody be a baby sitter of your children except you and other godly people.” Those first five years, attitudes, security, goals, and many other things are already developed, and they will come into full blossom in teenage years. A child is like a computer. What you put in comes out. You can put something into a computer and pray that something else will come out, but it won’t happen. I urge you not to waste time, to start early. Following are some of the ways that parents can lose their teenagers before they are five years old.

1. Use worldly counsel instead of God’s Word about rearing children.

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,” (Psalm 1:1). The world can’t tell you how to raise your boy or girl. I don’t care how well they are trained; God knows human nature better than anybody else. He made the children, and you need to stick by the Word of God. It works! Following worldly counsel is the way to lose them. Hosea 4:6 says, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” Hosea 8:12 says, “I have written to him the great things of my law, but they were counted as a strange thing.” Why do teenagers smoke marijuana? They do it to escape reality, to enter a fantasy world. Now ladies, that soap box opera on the television in the afternoon is not reality, and if you expect to rear your children and to be the kind of wife that you ought to be, you better turn off those programs and forget those things. That is not reality. That is escapism; that’s dreaming. That is much a flight from reality as a kid on marijuana.

2. Consider children a burden, a blight, a curse, a robber of your time and pleasure.

A child knows how you feel toward him and reacts toward you in the same manner. Even a baby knows whether you love him or not. If you think your children are a blight and a burden and that they are in your way, the best thing you can do for them is to give them away because you will have many heartaches when they get to be teenagers. You program into their hearts that they are in your way, that they take your time, that they are just trouble, that they aren’t valuable, and when they get to be teenagers, all of that resentment comes pouring out. We need to consider our children “an heritage from the Lord” and “his reward” (Psalm 127:3), because they will live and act like what we have told them they are by our attitude toward them. If I have told them that they are the joy of my life, that is the way they will live.

3. Make your possessions more important than your children; don’t make the home a place of fun.

You tell them, “Get out of the house; get off my carpet!” and then you wonder when they are teenagers that they don’t want to come home. Now, I don’t believe that the children should break things and I believe they should learn how to clean up their messes, but there is something more important than the home and the furniture and the carpet and the piano, and that is the people who live there. I like to live at home. That is where I can kick off my shoes in the living room. That’s where I can relax and enjoy myself; and Mom and Dad, you need to make sure that your children feel that way. There have been very few nights that my children have asked to stay away from home. If the home is a place of joy, they will bring their friends there. Before a child is five years old, he knows if the home is a place of happiness and a place where he can enjoy himself. Now, I don’t believe in a dirty house. There is a difference between a dirty house and a house that is comfortable and a bit “messed up.” A house that is dirty hasn’t been cleaned, but a house that is messed up is lived in. When your children become teenagers, what will they think about the place called home? Laughter? Joy? Home ought to be the place where you can bring your friends and have fun. The most important thing for parents to do is assure their children that they are more important than anything in that home. Sure, you teach them how to take care of things, but they must understand that they are the really important things to you.

4. Compare one child unfavorable with another.

“Why can’t you be like sister?” “Why can’t you be like that boy down the street?” I’ve got news for you, that’s the last thing they will be. If that other kid is an A student, your child will say to himself, “I’m not going to be like him; I’m going to be a failure.” If you don’t know that, you better wise up. You never compare children. The only Person we are to compare ourselves with is Jesus Christ. He is the comparison.

5. Make a federal case out of them being children.

Paul said, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child” (1 Cor. 13:11). Children are children, and there are things they do just because they are children. Don’t make a federal case out of it. Don’t try to make an adult out of a child. Children like to play. It’s not natural for them to sit still long. Some of you Sunday School teachers think that a little kid is going to put his feet on the floor, fold his hands, and focus his eyes on you while you teach him for 30 minutes. You better wise up. The child’s attention span is short. I think of one of my girls pushing crayons up her nose. I think of another of my girls taking her shoes off at Highland Park Baptist Church and throwing them over her shoulder. I stood up to preach one night and had the various texts marked with paper clips and one of the kids had pulled all of the paper clips out. Another time I stood up to preach and instead of pulling a handkerchief out of my pocket I pulled a pair of little panties out. I caught my boy trying to put the dog in the dryer. He was wet. The kids took a pound of bacon out in the yard and fried it in the sand, playing house. Kids do things just because they are children. They aren’t doing it in rebellion, but just because they are children. There is a vast difference between a child being a child and a child being a rebel. Now, you deal with rebellion, but don’t make a federal case out of a child being a child.

6. Threaten constantly and discipline ineffectively.
Keep on threatening to whip them, but don’t do it. And when you do whip them, just tap them enough to make them angry. I watch parents do that. If you are going to spank them, do it right and you do it until they are happy. When you discipline, you discipline until they are submissive. And if they are still in rebellion, you didn’t do it right. Either your attitude was wrong, or you didn’t keep it going until the plate got warm. If you’re not going to do it right, don’t do it. If you do it right, you won’t have to do it so often.

7. Belittle them.

“You dumb thing; you can’t do anything right; why don’t you get out of the way and let me do that.” So they grow up with an inferiority complex the size of a mountain because you belittled them. There are many kids that learned to be a failure before they were five years old.

8. When they do wrong, talk about how they are killing you and ruining your reputation.

When a parent does this, the child understands that he is not important, that the parent cares more for himself, for his own image, than for the child. His concern is only selfish. When a child discerns this, he will definitely ruin the parent’s reputation!

9. Husbands and wives quarrel in front of the children.

When husbands and wives fight in front of the children, they learn that marriage is a duel rather than a duet. And when they get married, they will fight.

10. When you discipline a child, argue about it.

If the husband starts to whip a child, the mother says, “Do you really think you should do that?” The child quickly learns to manipulate the situation. He or she will risk getting into trouble just to see mom and dad have a fight. When you discipline, the parents must be in harmony and must show the child that they are in harmony. The mom must say, “If daddy said it, that’s right.” The dad must say, “If mommy said it, that’s right.” They must support one another and work out any differences in private.

11. Brag on their talents but not their character, and constantly show them off in public.

The wise thing to do is to brag on character, not talents.

12. Turn on the television or radio or stereo and let worldly music play constantly.

Worldly music produces a worldly environment and creates worldly attitudes. On the other hand, you can program temperament and stability and peace and quietness in your home if you get good sacred Christian music. You can play Bible stories in a room where a little baby is sleeping, and you are programming Bible stories into his little mind. Kids don’t have to learn things formally; you just put it there and they are like a blotter. They absorb it. Put soothing, Christ-honoring, soul-stirring Christian music on and just let it play in your home, and you are programming something of security and tranquility and peace into the children’s hearts. (A list of “Suggested Sacred Music Recordings” can be found at the Way of Life web site.)

13. Teach them to be afraid.

When lightening comes, when storms come, even if you are scared, don’t show it. When a kid falls down, he looks up at his parent to see if he should cry. If he falls down, don’t make a big issue of it, or he will expect that all through life. Every time he has a little trouble he will expect someone to make a big issue of it and fuss over him, and that is not real life. When he falls down, just treat it lightly and encourage him to get up on his own and move on. I know a mother that when her child fell down, she would run and get an aspirin for him! There are many fears that people have that their parents taught them.
My friends, we must face our fears. One of my girls was scared to death of dogs. One day she came into the house screaming, and I thought a tiger was after her, but it was just a little dog. You can’t talk fear out, so I got a dog. I didn’t necessarily want a dog; I got a dog in order to help a little girl face her fears. One of my boys learned to swim but was afraid to swim across the deep side of the pool. One day I said, “You are going to swim across there before we go home.” He swam across and got rid of his fear. Had I ignored that, his fear would have grown. Fear dwelt upon can paralyze. Don’t run from your fears; face them. Don’t instill fear in the heart of your boy or girl. When they look up at you, they need to see confidence and assurance (but not pride). Many parents have taught their child that they can’t go to sleep without a light on. If they are afraid of the dark, go in there with them in the dark and show them that there is nothing to be afraid of.

14. Don’t take time to listen to them and talk with them.

If you are too busy to talk to them when they are little, when they get older they will go to someone else for counsel. By the time they are five years old, they already have an idea about you, whether you take the time to listen to them or you are too busy. Take time to listen to them when their little conversation doesn’t mean anything, so that when the conversation is serious they will talk with you and listen to you.

15. Be a duel personality.

If you are one personality at church and another personality at home, the children know you are a fake and they don’t like it. That hypocrisy will ruin them.

16. Criticize the preacher in front of them.

If you do criticize the preacher in front of them, you shouldn’t be surprised when the children refuse to obey authority and refuse to take the preacher’s exhortations to heart.

17. Mother, teach your little girl rebellion.

We teach by action, and the mother teaches a daughter rebellion by her own stubbornness and disobedience to her husband and to the preacher and to other authorities. She teaches rebellion by not caring how she looks for her husband. Mother, the little girl gets an idea of what a lady is like from you. If the mother is in love with her husband and devoted to him and in submission to him, her daughter will grow up to follow that example and she will follow her husband to the jumping off place, and not shove him off but jump off with him. Many men that God has called to the ministry are having great problems because their wives are not in submission. Their wives are more committed to their mothers than to their husbands. They are not willing to leave their relatives to go to the place of God’s calling. One question I ask every young woman that sits in my office for counsel before a wedding, “Do you love this man enough to leave your mother and father?” I ask the same thing of the young men. If you can’t answer yes to that, you aren’t old enough to get married. Mother, look in the mirror, because the little girl that grows up in your home will probably be just like you in her attitude toward authority and men in general and in her attitude toward her husband in particular. If you are thinking about marrying a girl, you should take a look at her mother and her attitude toward these things.

18. Dad, treat your wife disrespectfully.

Treat the wife with disrespect and a lack of compassion, and you will raise a boy that does the same thing. Before you marry a young man, you had better take a long look at his father and at the attitude of his father toward the wife. If a dad talks about other women all the time, about blonds and brunettes and red heads, the little boy will follow that example. The dad needs to teach his son that he is committed to his wife and that he would die for her, and then when the boy grows up and says at his wedding, “till death do us part,” he will mean it. The dad must teach his son how to be treat girls with kindness and how to be a gentleman toward women and how to have a proper respect for the opposite sex. And it must start early.

19. Dad, teach your son to be wimpy.

Do you know that there is difference between how you raise a girl and how you raise a boy? With a girl you treat her with gentleness; with a boy you trip him when he walks past! A boy needs roughness. You want to grow him up to be a man, not a sissy. Get a pair of boxing gloves and swap licks with him. Wrestle with him and let him get the best of you sometimes, but sometimes put a scissor grip on him so he can learn reality. Life is rough, and a man must learn how to deal with it. He must learn that life has pain, that there is give and take, and he must know how to take. Teach him to walk like a man, work like a man, think like a man. The predominate figure in a boy’s life needs to be his father. The predominate figure in a girl’s life needs to be her mother. There are boys that have gotten so attached to their mothers that they can’t have a successful marriage.

20. Teach your children that you don’t trust them.

We know that foolishness is bound in the heart of a child and that children are children and that they have to learn how to be dependable and honest, but we need to have the objective of letting the children know that we trust them. Early in life we need to tell our children that we don’t want them to break our trust. “I trust you son; I trust you daughter; don’t lie to me. If you lie to me I can’t trust you.” Teach them from the earliest age, “Tell the truth; tell the truth; tell the truth.” My daddy died when I was in high school. When I would get ready to go somewhere, my mother would say, “Son, I trust you.” Boy, that kept me out of a lot of things. Now if she had said, “I don’t trust you son,” I would have acted out her distrust.

In the book of Proverbs, the ideal woman is not a businessman; it is a mother and wife at home. The home is not the woman’s dungeon; it is her throne. Daddy, in Psalm 128, God talks about the home in this manner: “Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD” (Psalms 128:1-4). The thing that God gave to Job after all his travail was his home re-established and letting him see his children to the fourth generation. I know parents that are just looking forward to when their kids get old enough to get out of the house. You know why that is? Because before the children were five years old they programmed the wrong things into their hearts and modeled the wrong things before them.

Source: http://dedewijaya.wordpress.com/2010/01/01/how-to-lose-your-child-before-he-is-five-years-old/

06 May 2010

The Rebel.....Now Your Child

"But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants."' And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him." Luke 15:17-20 (ESV) THAT'S GRACE!! Because earlier in this same letter Luke writes "Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents." Luke 15:10 (ESV). To Him be the glory for giving us such a merciful salvation through His only Begotten Son...........Jesus Christ my Lord.